National Geographic promotes new show with magic crystals

Once, there were three edutainment channels that made an honest effort to raise the American masses’ scientific and historical literacy. Then History tossed out reality in favor of ancient aliens and finding Bigfoot, Discovery took up every “tough-guys brave the totally-not-staged wilderness” pitch in between fake documentaries, and as for National Geographic … well, it held out a little longer, but you knew things weren’t going well when it was bought by Rupert Murdoch in 2015, and they aren’t likely to get better.

Here’s what it’s up to these days: Magic rock water!

National Geographic, usually known for photos of animals and the adventures of rich people visiting other countries, is premiering their Will Smith-narrated, Darren Aronofsky-produced series, One Strange Rock, on March 26. I had a chance to watch one of the episodes at a screener last month—it was fine and very wide-eyed. There were lots of shots of Earth from space. It was very pretty. But I guess I’ve been concerned about Nat Geo ever since Fox bought them back in 2015—and this bottle makes me question whether they’re turning into a high-budget Goop.

The huge box Nat Geo sent me contained a book, some press material, and this glass water bottle with their name printed on the side. The >$70 bottle’s package advertises that it contains “carefully selected and ethically sourced gemstones representing the building blocks of earth,” including “wood,” “water,” “earth,” “metal” and “fire.” It came with an instruction and information manual.

Why does my water bottle have an instruction manual? It reads: “For the most precious moments in life! Gems raise the energy level of water. That’s been known for hundreds of years and scientifically proven. VitaJuwel Gemwater Accessories are not only Jewelry for Water, they’re a great tool to prepare heavenly gemwater like fresh from the spring.” The instructions are: screw in the gemstone vial, fill with water, and then wait 7 minutes.

Here’s the thing—this is a water bottle containing a sealed jar of gemstones. At no point will the water even come into contact with any of said gemstones. A warning tells you to discard the bottle if there is any way for water to seep into the vial of gems. All of the “science” cited in the brochure comes from widely debunked research from the likes of Japanese author Masaru Emoto—you know, the researcher who claimed humans could impact the chemical structure of water with their thoughts—or unnamed “German scientists.”

Hey now, they know precisely how many minutes you should wait after putting on the lid with the magic rocks, so it must be scientific. Or do you doubt the credibility of a company with a name like “VitaJuwel”?

NatGeo must have thought the article was harsh, man, because they responded, tut-tutting the author for “missing the point” of them sending a magic-crystal water bottle to a pop-science writer. The gist of their rebuttal:

The water bottle was just meant to be a clever and harmless representation of some of the themes of the show, and nothing more. Sure, the accompanying guide might read a little silly to some – but I think you are missing the point. […]

Of course National Geographic does not subscribe to pseudoscience, and I think you full well know that. But it doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun.

Even if they don’t believe in the woo they’re sending out with their name stamped on it, they’re forgetting that far too many people do subscribe to this bullshit – Gwyneth Paltrow’s shop wouldn’t be in business otherwise – and that they happily use it as a substitute for actual medicine, with predictably disastrous results. When you fleece the gullible, people inevitably get hurt. Trying to pass this nonsense off as a spot of harmless fun plays right into the hands of crock-mongers everywhere and undermines the efforts of actual science educators and medical experts who warn against this garbage.

I think it’s time to write NatGeo off as a lost cause. Once there were three; now there are none.

(via Friendly Atheist)