I fisked (part of) this New-Agey autism book so you don’t have to

At one point during my extended break from all things Internet and fun, I was given a reading assignment of sorts: a chapter out of some ridiculous New-Age-type book on autism (because I am autistic, so it falls upon me to read autism-related kookery, I guess). It’s quite possibly the most painful thing I’ve ever read, so I figured if I had to suffer, I might as well have my little fun with it – in that I spent all night laboriously translating it from the original French and typing it up with my added commentary. And now, you all get to suffer with me. (You’re welcome.)

And so, without further ado, I present to you: A point-by-point takedown of a chapter from Au-delà des limites de l’autisme: La Quête et les révélations d’une mère (English: Beyond the Limits of Autism: A mother’s Quest and revelations) (p.203–228), by Nadine Primeau. Bracketed red text is my commentary. The screaming is your own.

Today, after having lived numerous experiences in diverse ways and at different levels where the human being is concerned, I cannot stay silent about the nature of autism according to all that I’ve lived and all the observations I’ve made. [Get used to the grandiloquence. It’s even worse in the original French.] Although I haven’t really identified the causes of autism in this book [I hope not, considering the causes aren’t yet understood], the scientist in me [You don’t get to call yourself that, even figuratively], the one who’s always sought to understand all throughout these years without ever being satisfied all this time, must now deliver its definition of autism. [My breath is bated, dear medically untrained and unqualified writer.] This hypothesis must be known so that people question themselves, open their consciousness and perhaps grasp what I reveal here. [Oh, god.] With this information, which comes without contradiction from my inner laboratory, where I’ve seen, experimented, felt, analyzed and understood major points about autism, I must deliver this information. [I swear that sentence doesn’t make an iota more sense in the original.] Even if I know, in my heart, that they’ll bother certain people, they must be heard, it’s a question in my opinion of transforming this world towards a better life. [I’ll settle for transforming you into a better writer. Seriously, all of this is [sic], translated to mean exactly what it does in the original French. The woman just can’t write.]

Already, and you’ll agree with this fact, I can incontestably say that people said to be autists are misunderstood. They’re seen as people who are closed, in a bubble^*, or as weirdos and deranged. These people are categorized according to different criteria but sometimes don’t fit entirely in one category. A good number of specialists twist their minds to find a thousand and one explanations or symptoms but, actually, in my opinion, they don’t understand autism because they’ve never experienced it. They’ve only observed it from an outside, superficial, scientific and rational viewpoint and drew from it erroneous conclusions, lacking in consciousness and knowledge. [Speaking as a clinically diagnosed autist who’s also a “scientific and rational” person: fuck off, lady. I’ll take the specialists’ expertise over yours any day.] It is thus “normal”, in a way, that people said to be autists aren’t understood, they’re people from Reality X trying to explain the condition to people living a Reality Y, a bit like how some claimed the Earth was flat and others affirmed it was truly round. [Except that the shape of the Earth is an eminently observable physical fact, whereas understanding a neurologically atypical mind from a neurotypical viewpoint is a whole different thing, but that simile fail aside, let’s move on.]

Even though, veritably, we can see with our eyes recurrent traits, acts or symptoms in people said to be autists, and that all seem to agree with the fact that they don’t function like most human beings, the fact remains that the principal point which isn’t entirely understood by most actually resides in the explanation for these manners of being, acting and behaving. [Again: Not mistranslating this. It’s awkward to begin with.] Before going any further, I must mention here that the viewpoint with which we regard this condition is crucial. It’s the premise of limitations if we aren’t aware that it can bias or limit certain aspects and it is even moreso if those who observe it don’t themselves know that they’re limited as people! [The only thing “limited” here is my remaining patience, and increasingly so.] Unfortunately, since no-one remembers this principal point, most systems of thought maintain that so-called autists either have a problem that’s neurological – gotta live with it –, or biological – they must be treated. Already, it’s in my sense a diagnostic error and the wrong path to take to affirm these premises and we can only go wrong with them, since they aren’t fundamental data, in my eyes, that explain this condition and this is what I will attempt to explain to you. [I do wish you would get on with it.]

For my part, going from a consciousness said to be normal, where I believed what I’d been instilled with about autism and having moved to the Consciousness of the soul [Dear God, let’s make a deal: You spontaneously combust this book so I don’t have to keep reading it, and I’ll believe in you.], I am now able to affirm and to form my explanation of autism according to a larger, more global viewpoint that I’ve never really encountered anywhere. To have equally seen, understood and lived one after another different experiences that I haven’t entirely revealed in this book – maybe one day they will be –, and having successively touched and integrated different strata and all the thought-forms that concern autism near or far and suffering in general, only to later leave it behind, I no longer have these concepts of autism. The word autism no longer exists. [Thanks for nothing, God, you nonexistent jerk.]

Evidently, this viewpoint that I’m about to tell you [with this much build-up, you’d think it’d be something actually worth building up to], I’ve also experienced it, and it is in my opinion the point that’s made the most sense at different levels in explaining the difference and condition of these so-said autistic people. What I expose to you, I’ve understood at every level of my being. I felt in in my cells, in my entire body, my heart and my Consciousness. [Is that your gallbladder’s nickname or something? ’Cause I don’t know why else you’d keep capitalizing that word.] I am able to express this truth according to all the roads I’ve taken. I obviously cannot provide scientific data in what I transmit, since it is knowledge acquired through life experiences. [The unscientific do like touting “life experience” as a trump card over actual evidence.] But, I can certainly say that rational or scientific data of the norm all along this road have been landmarks that’ve greatly helped me analyze, compare, feel, see and understand that they weren’t fair in explaining autism. [Data doesn’t have anything to do with fairness. It just is. Your choice to ignore it is a condemnation of yourself, not of reason and science.] I must tell you that even if, at this point, in giving you all these explanations, I won’t be understood, I will at least had the audacity to present what I’ve understood, I’ll have expressed my vision of things and my truth. [Such “audacity” in being paid to publish a book in a popular genre where you tell credulous people what they want to hear.] Certain open people might understand and that’s what’s important, as they’ll reach a new vision to transform their life situation. [You speak of people who are “transformed” by every waiting-room magazine they read.]

What I will try to explain to you as best as I can [still waiting on it!], since I must use words, applies in my opinion to the vast majority of people said to be autists that I’ve met. [Y’know, “autists” isn’t a pejorative. You don’t need to keep prefixing it with “said to be”.] Maybe they aren’t completely and entirely part of what I reveal to you and honestly, I go here with caution since I incontestably believe what I present. My explanations are, in my opinion [stop saying that, there’s nothing in here that isn’t your silly, misinformed opinion], irrefutable points with which everyone should revisit the foundations that enclose these people said to be autists, to better understand and thus demystify their condition and their differences. Thus everyone can review and rebuild along these points that no-one has exposed as clearly and entirely as I relate to you, to help the concerned individuals in an even more appropriate fashion. [You’re just gonna change the world for us poor misunderstood autists, aren’t ya?]

First of all, the fundamental datum never considered fully that makes it, in my opinion, so that so-called autists aren’t understood and that they don’t function like the norm resides in the fact that these people function by sensing. Sensing is in some way like this sixth sense with which these people function, act and behave. Sensing is this inner guide that feels and knows things. [So we autists sense feels? I do have a lot of feels right now.] It is like a dashboard navigator that’s in the forefront and which puts people in contact with what’s present in their environment on the energetic plane. [o.0] It is thus normal, at first sight, that practically no-one, and even less so specialists who neither know or understand the crucial point, as most who gravitate around that specter to explain it function with their mental, their rational. [I’m still getting over that “energetic plane” crap, so I’ll ignore her broken sentence structure and move onto her broken logic: The rational and the heart work as one, together, inextricably intertwined. You can’t separate them. Researchers have already studied what happens when emotions are divorced from rational decision-making, and the results were disturbing.] All of society is even built on reason [I cite religion, antivaxxers and your readers as evidence to the contrary], the visible and the tangible. A good number of people are “cut off” from their sensing, from this reality. If you’ve never felt an imminent danger or felt the presence of someone behind you, you certainly won’t understand what I’m saying. You won’t understand the sensing which is the premise to this whole thing. [Wait – I have felt those things before. Does that mean my heart’s soul is sensing the energetic plane?]

The fact remains that according to my experiences and what I’ve understood, so-called autists function by sensing. It’s necessarily so that someone who functions by sensing, which is without contradiction unknown by most, senses things within and around themself. These “things” are no more or less the vibrations of all that surrounds them and that’s also within them in terms of vibrations on the energetic plane. [Oh, god ×2.]. That these energies are good or bad, positive or negative, the person said to be autistic who senses, senses them. Exactly like how someone who sees with their eyes, sees, or one who hears with ears, hears. This is assuredly how it goes. [Stop writing. Please.]

Until now, I understand that you can nonetheless refute my claims by saying that certain people also sense things and I agree with this principle. [Here’s a good place to stop.] But the difference with so-called autists resides in the fact that sensing makes up an inherent part of their reality. Without being able to consciously disassociate from what’s beneficial or bad, around or within them, sensing is always present. It’s the sense that dominates all others. It’s no longer a question of only sensing a little or sometimes like how some people who sense manage to do it most of the time. No, the sensing is always present. [You’re not stopping, are you.] Obviously, people said to be autists distinguish themselves even more from the masses, since they cannot choose what they sense and even less the moment when that happens. [I’m so sad you’re not stopping.]

It must also be said that sensing, which is in the forefront and highly developed, almost always accompanies these people’s five senses; it’s often even an amplifier. This thus means that when a person said to be autistic sees something, they also sense what they see. [WTF does that even mean? Do I also see what I sense? Is it like synesthesia? I always thought that’d be cool, but you’re kinda ruining it now.] If this person sees a horror, they sense neither more nor less the horror, wherefrom sometimes vivid and exaggerated reactions, as the sensing can be so elevated, since they have no filter, that the person who sees a horror will sense all the horror in them! [What the bloody effin’ hell does any of that mean?] If however this same person said to be autistic sees a gentle animal, they’ll see the animal and might sense, because of this, that same gentleness in them and will become calmer and appeased. [Pretty sure gentle animals work on just about anyone who isn’t a psychopath. It’s the fur, it leeches your angry feels out of the energetic plane and … okay, I’ll stop now.]

It is certain that you may yourself be in a state of shock before a horror or calmed before an animal but it remains that when a so-called autistic person senses, they obviously sense in their entire body in an exaggerated fashion what I describe to you, but this sensing can even accompany them for several days. [Considering how I tend to forget about even important “horrors” overnight whilst the so-called “normals” around me fret about them endlessly, I have some serious doubts about your theory.] While you, perhaps having quickly moved on to other things in your life being cut off from this reality, the so-called autist doesn’t have a choice but to live with this sensing that’s imprinted within them and follows them incessantly. Even worse, this discordant energy that they felt can even take root in them and manifest itself throughout their body and even create problems for them. [Your “energy” is starting to sound like a chestburster.]

I understand that what I describe to you here isn’t visible; and it’s here that you can perhaps lose track of what I share with you, since we’re crossing the veil of comprehension since you cannot see it with your eyes. [But you can? Or did a “person said to be an autist” tell you about it? If so, I suggest you sit them down and have a stern talk about filling your head with weird silly nonsense.] But remind yourself those times where you perhaps felt anger in a person or sadness in another. [That’s not “energy” or some bizarre mystical “sensing”, that’s your subconscious mind recognizing emotional cues from a person’s physical or verbal language. So easy to get those mixed up …] Think about a fear that you’ve already felt in your interior. [As opposed to in our exterior?] In these simple experiences, you have also felt an emotion or an energy that wasn’t visible. [Fancy that. Emotions aren’t visible. Learn something new every day.] Knowing that you have also experienced sensing the invisible, since we cannot see emotions, you may now be more able to understand what I tell you, since the very vast complexity of sensing resides in the fact that it puts the person in contact with nothing less than everything that isn’t visible to the naked eye and this, without the person being necessarily aware of it. [Please stop bolding at me. You don’t sound any less kooky.] In other words [No! You’ve explained enough! I know I was impatient at first for you to start explaining, but now, I’m begging you, please stop!], a good number of people or children said to be autists function with sensing [how is that “in other words”? You’re just repeating what you’ve already said – repeatedly!], react to what they sense and not even by awareness of this phenomenon that’s happening in them. You’ll understand here [I understand nothing, because you don’t understand, because there’s nothing to understand, because stop writing] that this explains a good number of behaviors and acts from these people said to be autists [Christ, I’m tired of writing that phrasing]. Maybe even all the different or senseless reactions that come out of nowhere from these people and who are judged without contradiction. You’ll also understand why a good number of specialists aren’t able to consider this point of view since they only use science, observable, measurable and quantifiable to try, for what it’s worth, to explain autism. [Another hallmark of the kook: a love of shitting on actual scientists who use the real world to understand things, not wishful thinking and magic crystals. You really know how to sway this autist, lady.]

As for me, I’ve been able to observe autism from within by first adopting different viewpoints and realities [you’re clearly stuck in an alternate one; need help getting back?], suffering, heart, consciousness [hey, no pointless capital C? Maybe there’s hope for you yet], the invisible, the personal power of the soul [oh, wait, guess there isn’t], to then assemble all the pieces of this puzzle and make it my hypothesis. But I wasn’t in a position to bring this global vision on explaining autism so long as didn’t go around all the different angles of these realities since each point of view is limited in itself when considered alone, such as are the rational or scientific points of view, and so long as I didn’t position myself in the viewpoint of the soul, the soul contained all the viewpoints described. [What does a soul look like from within? I’m imagining the inside of some sort of stretched-out disco ball. (Don’t judge me, I’m tired.)] It’s only when I came to understand, to experiment and to live according to the soul that I was able to assemble the pieces to come to this obvious conclusion: the soul is incontrovertibly part of the reality that explains the condition and the function of people said to be autists, as the sensing comes intrinsically and without contradiction from direct contact with the soul. [Nope. (Hey I just contradicted it!)]

For my part, numerous times, I was put before this mirror of autism and the soul, so I cannot at all refute what I put forth here. [So you truly believe this nonsense, rather than spill it without conviction. Good for you?] With my capacity to observe and to question myself neutrally, freely and without limitations, I was able to make some links. According to the viewpoints where I was, sometimes I could perceive so-called symptoms in my own life, other times I was in contact with my own soul. It turns out that these so-called symptoms corresponded in every way with generalities of the soul. [Hang on, something’s leaking out of my nose … Oh, it’s just dead brain cells. For a second, thought I had a cold.]

As an example, and so you may also make some links, I myself have difficulty with looking people in the eye, first symptom of autism when positioned along the viewpoint of the norm. [So you’re totes just like us.] I can very well explain from the viewpoint of the soul that I have difficulty when I look someone else in the eyes, which are of course the reflection of their soul, as I sense that person. [You probably hear them, too, when they tell you to stop staring at their reflected soul. That’s creepy, yo.] But I sense and I’m also in contact with everything they bear within them in their energy field whether it be positive or negative, since my soul that senses, doesn’t choose what it senses in the other person. [Then again, talking like this is kinda creepy, too.] It senses what’s present at the moment and even if it isn’t visible. It also senses the energies that don’t vibrate the soul and by their ricochet it lets me know, though that which doesn’t vibrate the soul must be known to better understand what I show you. [You think this stuff’s painful to read? Imagine reading it, trying to understand it, and then translating it into another language, word for word. You’d damn well better pity me, mofos.] The gaze is one of the precise points that allow to sense since it’s one of the five senses; it’s revealed as a direct access door that allows the soul to enter contact with the material plane to feel and contact the energies. [I gotta wonder if she ever reads what she writes. And especially, whether she listened to her editor when they presumably told her toss this in the trash and to never write again. Then again, there may well not have been an editor involved, which would explain so many things.]

I understand very well that very view people understand this viewpoint of the soul. Who on this Earth is consciously always in contact with their soul which is itself in contact with different energetic planes of which most human beings have no knowledge? [Loonybins like you?] This question isn’t intended to discomfort anyone [don’t worry, it’s too amusing to be upsetting]; it’s about better understanding the reality of so-called autists and their real conditions. I understand that it may be disorienting to receive all these explanations and I don’t at all want to lose you in them, but you should all understand since you’ll be able to realize what autism really is since, in my opinion, they’re crucial and are an integral part of understanding autism and this, on several levels. [Look, your ideas really aren’t as hard to grasp or as disturbing as you apparently think they are. You’re saying people-who-other-people-call-autists are all huggy with their souls to the point that they’re constantly touching the energy plane and so they feel everything really, really intensely inside them (and also, scientists = dumb). It’s not complicated. It’s just nuts. Like, Deepak Chopra-level batshit.]

As an example [if you need this many examples to explain something, maybe you should rethink things], since there’s a very great vibrational discrepancy between the soul and material planes [._.], more precisely that with which society interacts every day, the person said to be autistic, who is in contact with their soul, also feels this vibrational discrepancy in themself. [I’m gonna start sobbing soon.] Since everything is a question of energy in this world [not in the sense you mean it], they feel that the visible reality on Earth doesn’t correspond with the reality of their soul that vibrates very highly since, on Earth, the major part of what’s present there vibrates at a level that’s very low or obscure if you prefer. [If only you were talking about subsonic tectonic activity.] These people, only by being present on Earth and by sensing what’s built as much in society’s structures as in the thoughts of people, cause within them many inner annoyances and contradictions. [So autists read other people’s thoughts? That would’ve been handy to know at some points, lemme tell ya.] They’d unconsciously prefer not to be there and, consequently, prefer to isolate themselves rather than sense everything that doesn’t work in other people, in society’s structures and in the energy. [I’d just like to isolate myself from bunkum like this.] It’s also why most of the time, they aren’t functional in different situations and scenarios in society, these being restrictive and limiting. The rules, conditions, obligations and manner of functioning on Earth of different societal structures to which they must adhere are the breaks, even the obstacles that go against the needs of the soul. [So if my boss tells me to stop tap-dancing naked on my desk, I should just explain to him he’s being an obstacle to the needs of my soul? Thanks for the tip!] It goes without saying that these people feel within them all these limits but the truth of their soul which vibrates freedom and that’s stronger than all incites them to refuse, to be in contradiction, to be rigid, to want to control things their way and to adopt different behaviors from which are revealed behaviors that reveal neurological problems. [That’s my new outlaw biker gang logo: a soul that vibrates freedom] Wouldn’t this be the example with the famous bubble which is an atypical behavior and which is, without contradiction, the best way for the soul to cut itself off from anything that doesn’t vibrate the soul on the Earth or to cut itself off from a non-beneficial energy within someone else. It’s worth noting that the soul that vibrates the truth or the “real” in all things and that’s in the forefront, doesn’t adhere in many cases to the game of appearances, of building an image or to respond to expectations of people with social skills, since more often than otherwise these premises to function in society are false and go against the soul. [Hey, so when I said that school was soul-deadening, I wasn’t just being petulant, I was speaking the language of my soul. No-one can gainsay me now! Also, this paragraph is in serious need of the “Enter” key.] So a good number of these people said to be autists choose the bubble rather than pretend or to put on a mask as do most people in their manner of being, behaving and acting. In my life, I’ve also experimented with the bubble, those times where I read books with passion or I pretended not to hear all the inside conversations of people around me. I set it up numerous times also to avoid interacting with people or to pretend that I wasn’t concerned by futile matters. I had the capacity to withdraw into myself and to only contact my soul, as I wasn’t inhabited by too many discordant energies in my heart and my energy. [Well, that’s good. Wouldn’t want you to have bad energies in your energy. Though, with all the huffing you must do to write stuff like this, I’m amazed you still have negative energies at all.]

To even better understand what I’m telling you [oh fuck me, WE GET IT], you should understand this feeling of the soul regarding all that’s present on the Earth. It can be so intense that the soul, to no longer feel this pain or this suffering often experienced as different internal discomforts or represented by abnormal behaviors – such as tics, fixations, obsessions and manias –, especially if it’s unable to form a bubble, chooses to disconnect from this reality that’s so difficult that few understand by leaving the person’s body when they can’t take it anymore. [Wait, your soul can just float out of my body when it gets stressed? No wonder I always felt so empty in P.E. *rimshot*] It’s a fact without contradiction [you sure say that a lot about non-facts with lots of contradictions] that, for a good number of people said to be autists, their souls no longer inhabit their bodies, whether this is visible or not. [Did you just call autists soulless? I’m … offended? I think?] Some feel so intensely the pain they’re in contact with that to do this is the best solution for their soul. Hence the common saying that they’re no longer on Earth. [Who says that?] Unfortunately, most of the time, all these non-beneficial energies that inhabit the Earth and that don’t vibrate with the Light of the soul [is there also a Darkness of the soul and the Half-light of the soul and the I’ll stop now] then inhabit the body of these so-called autists. [Is that why I’m always cussing? Too full of non-beneficial energies that choke out the Light of my soul?] The soul cannot go back in the physical body and these so-called autists can no longer contact this inner fire that inhabits them with which they might counter a little the discordant energies within and around them. Thus follow several physical problems from the fact that they’re no longer in their bodies. [Ah, I revise my understanding of your theory. It’s not that autists are too in contact with their souls through which they cuddle the energies of the universe; it’s that their souls have been scared right out of their bodies. So their symptoms are just caused by an acute bout of soullessness. Got it.]

In heavier cases, it’s these very-low-vibration energies that entirely inhabit their body, that possesses them and that acts in the very heart of these people, the body being energetically bonded to all the low vibrations of the Earth, the soul cannot return even less in their body. [Apropos of nothing, but does anyone know what you call the act of flapping your lips with your index in reaction to utter lunacy? Just asking.] Certain problematic behaviors are thus caused by the fact that these people said to be autists [I really need to start copy-pasting that, along with “in my opinion” and “discordant energies” and “vibration of the soul” and oh god why am i reading this] aren’t able to liberate their suffering, or more precisely these non-luminous energies that inhabit their entire bodies. I’ve witnessed this precise phenomenon in my son all this time where his soul was so to speak out of his body and possessed by numerous harmful energies. I’ve long believed in these scientific and researched terms called autostimulation and autoregulation to explain behaviors that were but the manifestation of an overload of suffering on the energy plane.

[Look. Far be it from me to mock someone over their genuine suffering, particularly when a child is involved. I can’t imagine what it’s like, even having been an autistic child, myself. (Happy bubble-dweller, here.) And if you prefer to throw out science and neurological research in favor of feel-good fluff about energy and souls and other planes of reality because it makes it easier for you to cope, then go right ahead; that’s your prerogative and no-one can tell you different.

But when you start presenting that sort of gibberish as some sort of plain and obvious truth in a book that’s meant to be taken seriously, then I’m sorry, but those wonky beliefs become fair game. No matter how insufficient modern medical science may seem, it’s still eons ahead of the silly mumbo-jumbo you’re deluding yourself into believing. And frankly, when you start making blanket statements about other people and their afflictions – heavily autistic people are just soulless and possessed by dark energies, are they? – then you’re just making yourself into an open target. And as one autist who’s sick of this kind of spiritualistic bullshit, I’m more than happy to oblige.]

I know very well that what I share with you isn’t common and, evidently, nothing of what I tell you is present in the minds of people said to be autists. They themselves don’t know they function with sensing and the soul. [Actually, you’ve told me at length now, and I still don’t know. ’Cause it’s bunk.] Thus, they can never express it as clearly as I’m telling you. [All autists really thank you for speaking out for us, Nadine. You’re a big help to the cause … assuming your goal is to make sure we’re never taken seriously again.] They’re more often than not stuck in what I’m explaining to you. How can they then be understood and helped in the most fair and appropriate manner when almost no-one is aware of what I’m saying? [We’ll manage, somehow.]

It’s obvious that to have experienced and bathed in this world governed by the norm, I’ve seen some in their way explain autism in the sense that these “afflicted” people are sensitive beings. On this point, they are somewhat right, though not entirely. The problem here resides in the fact that they insert into and pair with this vision the notion that sensitivity is a problem. Obviously, from the more scientific viewpoint from which these people base themselves and observe, it seems to hold, but they’ve most likely never considered the viewpoint I’m offering. [I would hope not. Or they have, and they’ve dismissed it without a second (or much of a first) thought.] This is where there’s an error in my opinion, since these people have seen sensitivity from afar, and only from the point where they’re positioned to see it. Lacking the global vision that I’m sharing with you, they’ve drawn limiting conclusions affirming that sensitivity is a problem since it doesn’t correspond to everyone’s reality and they don’t know what to do about it. I understand however that they do their best with the reality they’re able to perceive and according to which they believe. They place different dressings on what they cannot explain and try as much as they can to improve these so-called autists’ lives. And this is considerable since there are at least people who try to help with their heart. [Why do you sound surprised that people might try to help autists even when they don’t believe in your silly theory?] Except that deep down, from the soul’s point of view, people said to be autists aren’t helped and they stay enclosed in a limited condition because they aren’t globally and entirely understood. It must be said that these people who try to help them in their way aren’t alone in seeing autism as being limited or a problem. [Nah, you’re right, autism is a gas. Total pool party of a condition. Silly of them to think otherwise.]

By the way they function, other people pair the identity of these people with this condition of autism by labeling them for life under the pretext that this condition cannot be transcended. There’s more than one error here in my opinion. We cannot join a person’s identity to their illness – here we say the person “is” autistic –, nor can we affirm that it’s “for life”, especially when haven’t understood said illness. Really, the only condition that’s “for life” for these people and that endures through time is the feeling that comes from direct contact with their soul, just as how normally we see “for life” with our eyes and hear “for life” with our ears. [Is there a point in asking “What?” here? Can anyone possibly understand what that’s supposed to mean?]

Once again, I see several holes in the understanding of autism by people who also haven’t visited other viewpoints under the pretext that theirs explains everything. [Actually, I don’t believe that my viewpoint “explains everything”. I just don’t think your other viewpoints explain anything.] Having soon explored the question from where they stand and having not found any explanations or solutions from this point, since it is limited, they’ve drawn the limiting conclusion that autism was “for life” because themselves, from where they stand, know that “for life” they will never be able to explain it. [I’m quite confident that medical science will one day find the explanation, though it may take a while. But thank you for making yet another claim about me and people like me that’s so easy to refute. Really, they’re just softballs at this point.]

I’m very saddened to see how these people are simply locked in this rational viewpoint and also lock in so-called autists in this condition. But I pertinently know that it’s only a flagrant lack of Consciousness [ohai random capital, it’s been a while] in many regards. I thus can’t blame people who don’t know and who do their best with this point of view. Truly, it’s torture to sense permanently, and this may be what these people see from afar. Deep down, the inner suffering is very great in so-called autists and nothing yet in their viewpoint can fix this pain. It may also be what these people perceive. From what I sense, I’ve often contacted it in my children and in other people. So-called autists themselves need consciousness and to have tools every instant. Many act often against what their soul desperately needs so, in simple experiences that we may qualify as “normal”, they thus live different problems since they are like blind people who know neither the energy plane, nor their situation regarding the soul which for them is in the forefront on Earth. Logically, these so-called autists resort to what’s rational to function, as advocated by society, and this is also where dwells another source of suffering. Autism is veritably an endless road of suffering and no-one is aware of the angles that I share with you. [You do love to make us autists sound like martyrs. You’d think we were all being flogged or something.]

I know that what I say to you can be disorienting [nope: still not troubling, still just nuts], since yourselves have probably never visited other viewpoints but the ones offered to you. A good number of people who control our society’s structures and in whom we place all our trust are themselves limited by their functions, their roles, their studies, their beliefs and, especially, their level of consciousness. They are themselves limited and only apply what they’ve learned on school-benches and what the collective wants to see and understand. It’s the road of the masses seen and delivered by the masses. I, however, have walked a path that no-one had yet walked and I’ve seen and understood autism in my way. I only try here to make you see it through my eyes and to explain it as best as I can. You are free to accept or refuse this view, but to me, it is clear and limpid and outstrips all others. [Cool. I choose to reject it and I advise everyone else do so as well. We good? Also, but Jebus, all this blathering to get absolutely nowhere new. You’ve (eventually) made your point. Can we just get a move on, pretty please?]

In another way and for my part [guess we can’t], this makes sense in several ways to know that people said to be autistic are in contact with the soul. A good number of them are virtuosos at a young age and have particular gifts. This contact, with their soul, God or a truth leads them to surpass the baggage that resides in their heart, the heart being the seat of the soul. They can thus let flow this truth or these gifts, as they are very good channels for letting flow these divine energies through which can manifest their exceptional talents since they’re in contact with their souls. [Gobbledygook gobbledygook gobbledygook gobbledygook gobbledygook. See? I can do it too.] Many are those who are astonished before these strange phenomena, since they don’t understand them, but it’s simply something normal when we’re in direct contact with the soul. Important fact to note, when the bond is cut between you and the soul, you are according to society a normal person, healthy and able to function in this world; since your connection with the soul or God is cut you thus don’t or barely feel what’s wrong or what’s happening on Earth or in the invisible. [Stupid society and its anti-soul practices. That’s discrimination, that is. We should sue.

Also, not that I’m asking for a fresh variety of mystical turds, but is there anything remotely new being said at this point? Or for the past several long, tedious paragraphs? This woman’s really never learned the value of conciseness, has she? I should stop asking rhetorical questions with blatantly obvious answers, shouldn’t I?]

I can testify about numerous times when my children felt and were in direct contact with the soul. [Did they start glowing? That could just be radiation, you know.] This sensing even made them evolve or regress according to my states of being or according to people in their environments. I saw many times my children become anxious if I was myself anxious because they felt this anxiety in me. Even if it wasn’t visible, I was able to watch their behavior model itself to me and, when I felt good, they were good as well. And when I felt bad, they were anxious, agitated or excited. [For crying out loud, that’s not magic. Any child can tell when their parent’s feeling blue or not. It’s called reading your body language and your tone of voice. I say this fully aware I’m speaking of an adult woman: Grow up.] I’ve also often seen my children transform before my eyes in different places we visited; they intrinsically felt that the place vibrated and, suddenly, they acted or behaved differently. [You mean your kids reacted differently when brought to different places? Wow, what a discovery! Hey, do you think if you bring them to Chuck E. Cheese’s, they’ll actually smile?] And this is almost a mathematical rule in my sense because sensing [please don’t drag math into this, it’s done nothing to deserve it], which comes from the soul, puts into direct contact with all that’s present in each person, each event or each area and gives a positive or negative result according to what’s present on the energy plane. But very few are aware so easily that one plus one equals two. It’s evidence as clear as resolving a simple mathematical equation but I understand and accept that “reality” isn’t the same for all. Very few have ever visited or even been made aware of this point, they’ve naturally never experienced the soul in their life. [I think I felt my soul, once. Disappeared after a satisfying trip to the restroom, though, so it might’ve been nothing.]

Because these people said to be autistic are positioned on this plane, it’s true to say that the environment in which they evolve is important. It must be calm, serene, without perturbation, as everything that goes against these markers is no more or less experienced as inner distortion since the soul once again senses. For my part, greatly sensing my environment, I often felt inner discomforts at the mere sight of cleaning that hadn’t been done or certain objects that hadn’t been put away. When hearing too much noise, I often felt exasperated or aggressed. [This woman feels unhappy when faced with unpleasant chores or loud noises! If that’s not good enough proof that we’re all dwelling on an energy plane through our souls, well, I don’t know what is. (No, seriously. I can’t think of anything that might prove something like that.)] Am I telling you that I function by sensing just as with people who are called autistic? Certainly! [OMG, she gets us *so well*]. I might leave you mistaken about me but, in reality [stop using that word plz thx], I am what I am and I live on the plane of the soul. [So the soul has its own plane now, too? I thought it was just a conduit that allowed us to contact the energy plane? How many planes are there?] I know very well that, from my end and from the soul’s viewpoint, I feel people, events, energies and places. I also know what they hold inside them by their energy since, from my direct contact with my soul, I’ve either seen, heard and, of course, felt in me these vibrations. And I also know that to feel well, I must be in an environment that suits me, as with all people said to be autistic. [And now she can’t feel good unless she’s in an environment that’s conducive to feeling good. My, isn’t her soul a picky little fusspot.]

I admit than in a more limiting position or a viewpoint that isn’t that of the soul, it may be very difficult to understand these so-called autists. Sometimes, they feel what doesn’t work around them, sometimes they’re in contact with a truth of their soul, sometimes they’re in contact with elements of the future because space-time is relative to them [it’s official, we’ve reached a new level of quantum whack-a-woo! Also, if I can sense the future, is that why I felt a sudden foreboding moments before I was asked to read this?], sometimes they “know” with sensing without being able to translate or explain it in words, sometimes they’re so in contact with the present that they forget everything [so when you zone out, you’re not being inattentive, you’re just super-duper harmonious with the energies on the soul plane!], sometimes they experience multi-conscious states and sometimes they experience several of these at the same time. [If it’s this freaking busy inside autists’ heads, no wonder they’re zoned out so much. One more thing to think about and their brains would crack.] I am myself able to give you these explanations, as I’ve experienced what I share with you and I’ve also observed them in my life partner, Pierre-André. One must necessarily have constructed their own interior laboratory and be in contact with their own soul, which knows more than personality and rationality, to stow, juggle, see and understand what I tell you, and it’s what I was able to do. Always in direct contact with y soul, I let it guide me across events that I shared with you. Without choosing it, I found myself experiencing experiences that aren’t named in this book, where more and more I grew closer to my soul and where I was able to make important links, the bridge between autism and the soul, since there were too many similarities between these two planes. Having myself observed that I might’ve had symptoms and having understood this autism from within, I thus had a different understanding than what I’ve always heard about it. Caught in harsh attacks of consciousness presented to me, I felt this truth in me and I went to the end of myself to let it speak. I even set aside my personality in the name of the truth of my soul which wanted to speak. [And it saith: ‘Seek help. Immediately. Like, now. No, really, find a therapist, go to the psych ward, something, anything. Please. Do it for that poor guy in Québec who’ll unwisely promise to read the insanely stupid, insipid, logorrheic dreck you’ll start writing if you don’t get help right now.’ (This wise counsel was, evidently and tragically, ignored.)]

I believe that at this point in your reading, you might be starting to understand what I’m sharing with you [I already have. A long, long time ago. Please stop sharing, I’m begging you.] even if I certainly understand that what I say to you probably isn’t part of your reality. But I have here a thought for all mothers who’ll understand what I reveal, as they’ll feel it in themselves. They’ll feel the truth in their heart because, these mothers, with the love they have for their children, are positioned within their hearts in their perspective and the heart is the seat of the soul. [I feel insulted for mothers right now.] Since they’re in contact with this truth of love and that of the soul I them and in their children said to be autistic, they don’t view them from a rational viewpoint as do most people regarding this phenomenon. [Now I feel insulted for rational mothers.] On this topic, it isn’t rare to see a good number of mothers who have a particular bond with their child said to be autistic for this reason. But several of them are also sad and misunderstood since this reality that I explain to you isn’t recognized and even less admitted to. These mothers know, in their heart, what I tell you because the soul knows. [All you’re establishing is that parental bonds make you irrational, which makes you gullible. That’s neither news nor applause-worthy.] In what they can perceive and what I can relate, these women even know their children by heart, in the slightest detail [a rare thing in mothers, I’m sure], but they don’t necessarily now why, themselves acting by sensing with them. They move from one visible reality defined by the norm, autism, to a reality that’s invisible and ignored, the heart of the soul. Since all that’s established about autism in our society is knotted and closed by reason and no-one has elucidated this mystery, reason wins as in a game where the visible wins against the invisible. [If the invisible ever won, how would the visible know, I wonder? Hrm.] These mothers then close this door to the consciousness they can glimpse through the heart and they let themselves be carried off by the wave that dictates the rule, as they feel they aren’t right.

[You know, a thought occurs to me: If this “sensing”/“energy”/“soul” stuff and whatnot were as obvious and incontrovertibly true as you say it is, wouldn’t it have been picked up by more people by now? Why does it need to be “revealed” by some fringe New-Agey writer?]

I agree that the world of autism poses a great challenge, such as how no two autists are alike – they possess general traits but are all different [I don’t think there’s any condition where all sufferers are identical, you know] – and it’s even more difficult to understand and see the globalism of their condition. [Unrelated, but I just tried to write “globality” and wondered, briefly, why my spellchecker flagged it. It’s ten AM; I’ve been writing this since two. Dear god.] And this is explained in my sense, since they travel no more or less in different realities, for the most part, to states of being themselves related to sensing. And it’s also without counting all the subtleties that I choose not to name. I’d need a large board to explain them properly. [Really? You couldn’t just insert another few dozen tedious paragraphs?] In my opinion, the great error in the modern approach to so-called autism resides in the use of the qualifier “symptom” to describe the states of autistic children and adult. These states are, in my opinion, different “states” of Consciousness that we cannot even qualify sometimes nor even put them in words. [There are so many things I also cannot even put into words right now.] No wonder no-ne can see nor understand these states of being and this sensing, especially if the very vast majority have never completely stopped to understand by experience. People said to be autists are evolved beings who are in constant contact with their soul, the invisible and different planes of Consciousness that aren’t known to most human beings, their bodies being only an earthly vehicle. Often, they live in states of multi-consciousness, at a time, they feel their soul, their truth, their suffering and that of others. These beings pass their lives for better or worse misunderstood and limited since they’re never aware of the energetic dimension and since most people who govern this condition stay cloistered in their own limits, their illusions, their beliefs and their perspectives affix a label. [It’s really good thing I’m not a drinking man, or I think I’d be in the hospital right now. Fuck this fuckery, I’m going to bed.]

[All right, it’s a new day, a fresh start, and only a few more brain-liquefying pages to go. Avanti!]

Know that my goal here in revealing my theory isn’t to displease anyone [so very much too late], to destroy the status of [I don’t think anyone else’s standing but yours is in trouble, here] or even to offend certain people who have worked hard in various ways, from near or afar in the world of autism, but I need to deliver my message. I say it to you clearly so that once and for all, people said to be autists who live in this reality may finally be understood at the level of their souls. The soul, which is the fragment of God in the heart of all, desires most of all to be free and to vibrate Life on Earth. I’ve myself had this quest of always more freedom in my life. But paradoxically, everything is built in reverse on Earth with limits, illusions in a world where shadow is the law most of the time. It is thus very difficult to permanently bring the plane of the soul to Earth because this Light that comes from God is constantly confronted against all the darkness present on the planet. You’ll certainly understand that with what I bring you as supplementary elements of understanding, there’s an immense and colossal work to be done to make it so that people may live freely on the soul plane. [You get started, don’t wait up on me.] This is without considering that what might first seem effective, normal or good for these so-called autists may be harmful or problematic for the soul and therein lies the paradox. I’ve also often experienced this. [You’ve experienced a great many things, lady, but I suspect most of those were drug-fueled.] There is thus a lot of Consciousness work to do as much with people regarding their thoughts, their beliefs, their limitations, their illusions, their acts as with society’s structures which were built according to the human being’s limits.

Maybe very few people will understand what I write here. [She really does think she’s writing in code or something, doesn’t she? Or is she just used to an audience with very few reading comprehension skills?] But if one lone person can at least cross the veil of autism and position themselves in the heart to understand, I will have at least accomplished the mission of my soul in retransmitting my message, as it’s a question of transforming reality in which we all live. [B-but I like my reality. Please don’t transform it. I don’t think I’d like your version.] It’s in becoming more conscious and in positioning oneself in the heart that we can accede to the reality that is the soul’s and it’s in bringing always more consciousness that we can better understand it. I can simply say to corroborate what I explain to you that there is no random chance in the phenomenal quantity of so-called autistic children who are presently incarnated and who fuse on all sides. [No amount of re-reading the original text makes this any more sensible.] As a people, society, we’re at the point of elevating our consciousness so that sufferance may cease. We must question again and revisit our ways of living and functioning, as they go against what the human being needs. And all these children carry in them this same message and this mission so that parents and people who are the most touched by this phenomenon question themselves, elevate their consciousness and together transform this reality in which we all bathe. All these people are instigators of a New World [Order?]. And it’s through Consciousness and understanding what the soul is that each and every one must pass to help people said to be autists to be able to transform this world in which we all live.

[Oh, fuck me sideways … Why? Why do these weirdos always make neurological disorders into so much more than they really are? Why must we all be “Indigo children” or some similar batshittery? What makes them believe autists and other neurologically atypical folks exist on some higher plane? As an autist, I can promise you, we’re all on the same shitty level of reality, and it’s not made any easier by whackaloons who insist we’re emissaries from God come to change the whole entire world. We’re just regular people whose brains work a bit different. Some of us adapt; others don’t. There’s nothing remotely mystical, special, or all that interesting about it. Hell, I’d be first in line for a “cure” if one existed, and I certainly wouldn’t be alone. And I guarantee that it wouldn’t have a damn thing to do with vibrating souls and energy planes.]

I must tell you now that I could continue again and again for pages and hours to explain all the angles and all the aspects that I share with you [I am this close to hiring ninjas to murder you in your sleep] but if, at this point, you still haven’t sensed, understood or even perceived that beyond the limits of autism, it’s a matter of the soul on Earth, the only unique and true point in all this, it isn’t necessary for me to continue. [Wait … does that mean you’ll stop writing soon? Could my request all those pages ago be answered now?] Out of love for all these people and so that they may no longer be prisoners, I allowed myself to create a breech in the veil, so that finally people may awake, open their consciousness and their heart, for the heart knows infinitely more than reason. These people must now know and understand, will know and understand. I know in my heart that some will succeed thanks to their open-mindedness and, in their way, they’re also in contact with the reality of the soul. Some know this reality with the heart but aren’t entirely aware of it. This reality of the soul isn’t accessible only to so-called autists; it’s also lived by several people, if only those who suffer, who are sick and who live different problems. And this reality is accessible to all, it’s only misunderstood. Each and every one has the ability to walk this path, to reach, to touch and to become one with their soul. All can already even touch the soul in their heart as people called autists do so permanently. [That’s a lot of continuation for someone who doesn’t find it necessary to continue.]

Before I end my message, if you desire to walk the path of the soul, open the door to your consciousness and let LIFE touch your heart to help these so-called autists and transform this world. Stay true just as are these so-called autists, for the heart is also true. They are, in many regards, right in the truth and the mission they bring and they are already at the reality of the soul on Earth but they greatly need help to be liberated from their suffering. [I’ll put this nicely: I don’t need, want, or remotely care about your help. Leave autists the fuck alone, you dingleberry.] You have everything to learn about these people who try, for better or worse, to show the path to the soul on Earth, just as it should be for each human being. Let the truth of your heart emanate, this is part of the first steps to always walk in this direction. It’s up to you to travel this road to understand. If truly you take this path, then, you will meet this reality and you will understand beyond the words of autism, this entire truth.

[is it over yet please let it be over now]

[Wait, there’s an epilogue. Looks like only two pages. Well, I’ve come this far.]

My children today and healing

My daughter is a flower that blooms and shines every day. Her eyes are glittering suns of Light! [Oookay.] She’s a formidable child with a great sense of observation and a very high intelligence. Her presence at my side is very precious to me and her unparalleled collaboration to help her brother makes her an exceptional child. No-one today can believe this child once had an autism diagnosis. [Because the impressions of random people always trump medical expertise.]

My son is a very curious and teasing boy who always smiles and talks incessantly! As I write these lines, he’s just been accepted in a language class since he’s qualified academically speaking, – he can read, count and write –, and he no longer has autistic symptoms to speak of. It’s another victory! [You do realize that some symptoms typically fade away with time as the autist grows older, right? I’ve had plenty of autism-related oddball traits that diminished or disappeared with age, and I’m still very much autistic. If your son and daughter were diagnosed properly, then tough, but they’re still autists. Denying it and pretending otherwise won’t do them any favors.

But then, what else to expect from a woman who thinks autists are divine messengers with a greater Consciousness that allows them to be one with their heart’s soul so that they can feel the vibrating energies of the Earth and sense the future and read other people’s thoughts and what-the-fuck-ever else the voices in her head told her during the huge acid trip that spawned this book.]

Before I leave you, I will right now address the healing of autism that’s become relative to me across these experiences. In fact, healing isn’t becoming normal or being molded to the masses. It’s simply a direction to take to find the truth of one’s soul and it’s also often the story of a lifetime! To get there, a path of Consciousness must be taken, during which experiences are lived and internalized. We cannot choose the time, the events, the obstacles or the manner in which we arrive at the destination. But each time, we can choose and decide to always walk in the desired direction and surpass limits. Each step taken is considerable and always marks an evolution for the soul. And autism is a real opportunity to set into motion this process of transformation and healing through consciousness even if, the difficult world in which we live, is often filled with limits and puts the breaks on this evolution.

I can tell you that there’s hope when one walks this path of Consciousness towards healing. My son, who withstood storms and who each time followed the path that I showed him, is a child who’s healed in my heart. Even if he hasn’t finished traveling his road, as with many others, he’s also shown each time his determination to surpass limits, even when he was but a young child when he began this course. Each time, I had the confirmation to go further with him, for he has evolved and has always transformed even if, of course, all this was only possible because I myself chose my own road towards healing. Even though this young boy, who will soon be eight, still has some difficulties with language and focus, I know his transformation will continue. He’s also traveled a good part of the path to his healing and he shows me each time his courage and his will to pursue this road. Each time he’ll want to move forwards, I’ll be a guide to show him the way and I’ll help him find his strength so that he may propel himself further along the path, his own. [And one day, if he’s lucky and you aren’t, he’ll realize what sort of blithering lunacy his autistic childhood was used as a case example for. I wouldn’t want to be you when he does.

Well, that, or he’ll discover he’s really a messenger from God destined to usher in a New World with the help of all the other energetically vibrating people-said-to-be-autists out there. Who knows?]

I gotta say – it’s been long enough that my memory of this had dulled, but parsing it again to post it reminded me how close to a breakdown this concentrated dose of wild flaming stupid brought me. (I really can’t stress enough how I transcribed all of this word for word. Saints have nothing on me; I have the patience of a baobab.)

Unfortunately, Québec is an unusually target-rich environment when it comes to these oogie-boogie spiritualistic types; as in other areas, an apparent side-effect of increased liberalism seems to be a greater tolerance for insipid bullshit. One silver lining is that it ensures I’ll never want for fisking material … though I’d rather go without, really.

Oh well. La bataille continue, les amis.

* French expression; not sure how well it translates. Being “in your bubble” means keeping to yourself, not paying attention to the world around them.